Tryst with womanhood under a dental explorer and the art of tea drinking.....

My heart raced, pulse dropped and I became pale when the receptionist uttered those dreadful words, “Sir, it’s your turn” the moment I thought would never come in my life has become a reality now. I gathered all the courage and walked past the reception into the dreaded room, the dental clinic. The doctor was a known face but that was only till she wore the mask and everything of her demeanor turned professional. She made me sit on the chair and explained in a very professional manner what I was about to go through and did she say scaling? Yes that was the word. She assured me this was a very routine thing and there was no need to panic. May be the anguish was written all over my face and the doctor ( I no longer recognized the familiar face) took pains to explain me everything she was going to do and informed of the instruments she was going to using. I prayed to all the Gods I knew and submitted myself to the doctor who appeared completely amused at my odd behavior.
Finally it was over and I climbed down from the chair as if I scaled the Mount Everest. With a glee on my face which disappeared as soon as it appeared when I heard the chuckle at the corner of the room, my brother! ho no the last the person who I wanted to witness this event! The doctor asked me to ignore him and told me I did well for someone who came under the dental explorer for the first time in life and not many fared this better. I saw my chest puffing up in pride. I admired the doctor for her professionalism, equanimity and of course the skill. As I was about to thank her, the mask came off and the known face appeared again as if it was waiting for the exercise to get over. I saw my sister in law with a pleasant smile. It was the proverbial the coin drop moment for me, the shy girl who I met four years back and a reliable ally at home now (who I rely on to taunt me at the given opportunity) and the girl who makes coffee/tea for me without any hesitation even if the request is made at odd hours is a top notch doctor, a thorough professional, who has people waiting at her clinic for hours to get an appointment and who actually is the CEO ( for want of better word) for her clinic. That’s a side I never knew existed when I gulped the tea without a thank you and left the cup on the table for her to take it to the sink.
I drove back home with her in stunned silence, and she was getting down she told me “Bava no tea or coffee for the next 24 hours” I thought to myself I never didn’t intend to ask. She added, “It would spoil the work”, well that was another professional advice. As we entered our home, she quickly transformed into her homemaker attire and started to wash dish which were lying in the kitchen sink, the transformation amazed me. As I entered into my room I saw another reality in my bedroom, my wife, who could have been a project manager by this time if she had continued her job, nursing my new born child. A person who could be managing fortune 500 client was today just managing my childishness and children. I couldn’t sleep that night, as my mind raced to another women who quit her doctoral pursuit in a Germany university to join her husband (my brother again! It seems to run in the family) to ensure he gets three times homemade food a day. Well my statistician mind went to work, and I summarized by findings only 30% of the eligible women in my family work and the one who works has a day job and a night job. 
Honestly, I don’t have an answer to this problem. But one thing I am absolutely sure off, next time I ask for tea I would request it and when given, stand up and receive it and say thanks. Most importantly make sure my sister in laws and wife would have one less cup to clean. While I drink it I would be absolutely aware of the fact, that it was made by a top notch professional in the world and give it due respect

Death of a friend and how I got back my life

I knew it was imminent when she was no longer her radiant self,  and last weekend when for brief momentary phase of no sound emanating from her I knew it I had to prepare for the worst. However prepared you are there are certain things in life that always captures you by sheer timing, it happened over the weekend, I had just come back from the office party and she let out her last grasp of being. The family was stunned, some members of the family retreated to their den (bedroom) to wail in isolation, or so thought I, kids did not comprehend what was happening and emptiness surrounded our home. Suddenly, eerie silence enveloped, it took us a while to reconcile with our loss and we prepared to spend the Sunday without her, I didn’t know, when was the last time we were without her.

As always with life, morning bloomed and the house was its usual self, family found the energy to gather around the dining table for the morning coffee, quietly settling into the Sunday morning. No mention of her, everybody seemed to be busy with their chores, kids took out their cycle, I whipped out my Sunday morning paper, my wife decided to go for a walk and elders in the family conversed. I listened to the kids, eavesdropped on the elders talk and awaited for my wife to return. I strangely felt the connection with the home as never before. Our Sunday mornings are usually short but this time it was longer than before, we managed to accomplish quite a lot.  After months, I found time to take a siesta with my kids, ready my favorite book in evening, called up a couple of old time friends, prepared for the next day office work and the clock has just struck 8.00 pm.  Must have been the longest in the recent memory, I didn’t know she could make such a difference and then at the sound of calling bell, we ushered in the specialist and he took a look at her and told us nothing major…she can be revived back to life. All you need is backlight replacement for your LED TV. The entire household let a cry of relief, and I was not sure if I would ever get to relish every minute of my Sunday as I had with that TV on, especially with a test match on the cards. I wish, I had written RIP my dear TV, but then I knew I would lose the motion by a clear majority at home. However, now I know how beautiful my Sunday’s would be without her.

Parenting, MS Dhoni way- But in the 1990s.

Simple, adequately literate, clad always in a south Indian saree and a disciplinarian, that’s all it took to describe her. Kids had a mix of love and healthy anger for her. Never had them miss a class, even it means missing a wedding in the family, every day the study hour was holier than anything be it diwali or New year, they were always o n time to school, did their home work and never stayed awake beyond 8.30 pm. She had a simple formula for parenting, first things first, love not indulgence and bigger picture mattered (Family, Studies and career).

She did a MS Dhoni way back in 1990, by passing the baton of upbringing to her husband beyond a certain age and he had the courage to allow his wards to pursue their interest, Economics when MBA was the fad, physics instead of engineering and many more choices of passion rather than herd madness. Above, sense of value they showcased, no donations even it meant missing a college of choice. They broke the bad news, made children understand and face reality, economics of home was information that was always available so they could know what choices existed. Spending was always a function of income not a result of desire. They had rollicking time as a family, money did not come in the way of happiness.

My parents are a living example of being ambitious about whole life not just some bits of it. Sure we are not Sunder Pichai or Satyam Nadella ..yet J, but they have given us a life 10 times more than they had. This is the power of vision, of an empowered women and her husband. I did wish her on women’s day, when she was doing her daily chores, as always, and she didn’t know that existed, well she didn’t need to, she was always empowered shaping dreams, life and much more..  I wish, I had the commitment of becoming one such parent, but she had taught us to try.