Slice of life and Jigarthanda

The suggestion of a jigarthanda (a Southern Tamilnadu drink an exotic mixture of ice and all that is good in the world) on a sultry Sunday evening was not out of the usual but coming from a friend who I have just got to know a few days back was everything but normal. While we have known each other only for a few days (as friends), I felt that magical pull not known to me for quite some time, and when this request came by my way, I just thanked the universe for answering my call.

We got each other two cups full of that exotic mix of the drink and set ourselves for a walk, We recounted our past (some pleasant and some not so pleasant), talked about life, our philosophies, beliefs, values, and our dreams too ( a Benz car was a common dream 😊 ).

With Jigarthanda, every scoop you swallow leaves behind its taste on your tongue, and with every step of our conversation, we were relishing the spirit of camaraderie, friendship, and companionship, it just got better with every step.  While there were hundreds of people milling around us in that busy walkway, we were huddled in our own space and felt an invisible cover of isolation, it was just us, our conversations got better and better.

Personally, my anxieties fell away, a new layer of lightness engulfed my body, and the blood flowed as if it was in harmony with my body. This was perfect me, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Amazing, what a good conversation can do for your body and soul, it is strange why we hide behind our devices or stayed glued to TVs even if it meant listening to a Sadhu. Pure bliss lies in connecting with people who truly matter to you, if you have not found one, just step out and seek, as I did, and the universe will answer your call as well. The key is you need to trust that what you seek will seek you in any form.

As we junked our jigarthanda, we junked our pretense, formality if there was any and we were friends for life. While the taste of Jigarthanda lasted, the taste of true companionship hung all over us in its truest form. That was one slice of life served with chilled Jigarthanda, what more one can ask for a hot Sunday evening.

New year goals – some ordinary and some not so ordinary

I always refrained from taking up new year goals, one for being inconsistent about going after them and the other, it is too cliched at this time of the year. This year I am making an exception having been at the crossroads both professionally and personally, I decided to make goals that I would love to go after.

1. Make Monday's bloom – I want to get rid of Monday blues and look forward to the blooming of the workweek. I am doing a lot of soul-searching, have started listing down work that excites me, and writing down what makes my Monday less good than a Sunday morning. I am determined to change this and will share my journey. If it eventually means a change in job, role or a different professional orientation will surely take that leap this year in 2022.
2. 2 hr. vacation time every day – I aim to carve out 2 hrs in a day to engage in activity that I would normally do on weekends/vacation if it means cutting down on work-related stuff, serious reading so be it. I am very keen to add 10 hours of vacation time every week. I engage in boxing, sleeping, and watching a movie during weekends. (did someone call it bold, that is the intent 😊)
3. Personally, meet a friend/acquaintance once a fortnight – for some time now (it could be decades) haven’t been engaged in a real conversation (like what should I do, am I thinking through it right) with anyone at length. I intend to seek out these conversations, I am aiming to start with my brothers 😊, and I am sure it would be one hell of a reflection. That will be in-person sans technology (Pandemic permitting)
4. Seek out professionals – I am going to engage a professional to help me better my skills at work, fitness, boxing, or writing. I haven’t decided which one among the four yet but intend to at least get one top-class professional to help me with the identified area of interest (I am ready to splurge)
5. Sleep 8 hours – Not that I haven’t been getting 8 hours, but I wanted to make it a to-do list and a non-negotiable one. More than any other goal, I want to crush this one.

These might not be groundbreaking, but I have had difficulty in the past executing them. Now I am intent on working on these goals. I am certain they make me happy, that in essence is the purpose of the pursuit.

Nervousness, lesson in leadership & how I bought my first 10 shares of a company

 

Nervousness, lesson in leadership & how I bought my first 10 shares of a company

For the first time, I heard my heartbeat without the aid of any medical instrument. As I looked around the big conference room full of people in business suits with their imposing demeanor, I wondered when will all this be over, while I knew the meeting with CFO of one of our major clients would last for a couple of hours, every minute looked like frozen in eternity. Ninety percent of people in room had a tag of VP and above, and I was outranked by a mile in every sense of the word.

Everybody was either fiddling with a phone or tapping away their laptop, it looked like air got sucked out of the room and I felt suffocated. Only reassurance was my boss, who was kind enough to sit beside me while we waited for the VIP contingent to arrive.

Suddenly the conference room door flung open and came a gentleman with a beaming smile, looking at everybody’s reactions I understood he is the big boss, everybody smiled, shook hands and assured him everything is in place.  This man took time to shake hands with everyone, and when it was my turn, I just wanted to say “nice to meet you” and go back to being nervous, he shook my hands firmly with the same broad smile that he greeted others with, enquired of my name, what I do and how long I have been in organization, and took time to say, “ I was on an ops call, and got late, you know how it is” and I was in operations and then with a pat on my shoulder, he moved on.

Suddenly I felt a new belonging to the place, my lungs were filled with fresh air and I was ready to do my bit. Event went as per schedule; I did my part (a small presentation) and we headed to a coffee break. The same man who infused a sense of confidence came back with a smile to mention, it was a job well done and I felt the ranking gap close in (while till today, I am still outranked)

I learned enormously that day without the regular learning template.

1.       As leaders all you need to have is a smile, a warm word and the connect with whomsoever you are interacting, it has a magical spell on that person especially if he is junior to you.

2.       Make the interaction real, spend that extra two minutes knowing the person and use it rejuvenate him if you can (the ops call comment)

3.       All it takes from a leader is having that humane touch at every point of interaction despite numerous pulls and pressures. For sure it will have a positive impact on the team, I am not sure I would have done that presentation as well as I did without that two-minute interaction.

So, I bought 10 shares of Infosys when the person who infused confidence took over as the CEO. Yes, the man who made me comfortable that day and left a lesson to carry on for life is Mr. Salil Parekh. We both back then worked for Capgemini.

Short Story - The bench

Priya, the name sounded familiar when his mom tossed it around the living room and wanted to gauge the reactions. Being the most obedient son he treated it with practiced nonchalance. The family, predominantly the mom, decided not to pursue the alliance and dropped it. He remembered playing with Priya at an age when children would hardly distinguish gender and he had seen her fleetingly in one or two family get togethers. He would have loved the idea of meeting her and finding out how she turned out to be now but then, you always wish.

Nithya, his maternal uncle told him that her family is well to do and they are pursuing it seriously. This time, he was genuinely uninterested as the girl’s dad was a big spurn off, he was into lotteries something our man considers a taboo. Nevertheless, the meeting happened and while the girl was pleasant the unfathomable chemistry didn’t click. Both decided to shook hands and part away. She went on to marry, it never created any flutters or interest.

Anjali, well this was like heavens conspired. They met serendipitously before the family could decide and our obedient son was ready to rebel to take her hand, but then providence helped and they got married with blessing of the two families.

Our man was happy, life tooks its own turns and twist. It was like anyother normal married life filled with passion, strife, love, hate and endless emotional pricks. Yet, it was bliss.  He often wondered, how it would have been had he got into any one of those earlier alliances, and most often concluded he was lucky to have landed with Anjali. However, he always kept wondering why Anjali always insisted that he do the outdoor jobs himself and she also had the obsession of having him eat with her during family functions like marriage. It will hugely upset her if he chose to eat alone or he eats with his friends. At first he felt odd, and later reconciled that it is one of those womanly quirks.

The bench convened…..

It was in a marriage, when he chanced upon Priya and in a distance where it was difficult for both to avoid. So he smiled and exchanged polite pleasantries, and suddenly as he was ready to bid her good bye, her eyes turned moist, her face was breaking into joy, ascertaining he was not the cause he turned around to spot the reason and Anjali had a similar expression and they almost ran and hugged each other. To our man’s surprise it turned out that they were school mates and sat in the same bench. 

Before he could recover and restore normalcy in the panic-stricken face, Priya proclaimed rather loudly, “you know Nithya too is coming for the marriage as we are married into the same family”. He instantly recalled the name and hoped, it was not the person with whom chemistry didn’t work. As always with life, most feared happens. Yes, they all were in the same school and were bench mates.  For the rest of marriage, they laughed, had fun and caught up with all they had missed. Our man sat with bewilderment, life is certainly stranger than fiction.

As they wound up around lunch, husbands got to meet and all the three exchanged niceties and it was widely writ on their face the pleasure of seeing all of it come to an end.  Our man was the most relieved, that’s when Priya’s husband quietly asked, “brother you do all the outdoor work and always eat with your wife during family functions?”  he turned pale, and said yes. A sheepish smile spread across priya’s husband face and he told him, this what they had decided they would have their husbands do while they were in their 10^th standard as a rebellion of having asked to eat after their men members of the family.

Well it could be a small, sometimes lovable/nagging ( depends on which side) thing to do for a wife but these girls having carried so far is adorable. Our man his fortunes revolved around this bench is just an amazing facet of life.  Our man powered the engine of his car thinking of all things in their life, he would remain an unique connection : )

Short Story : Love fever and concoction of life

He felt the fever in every muscle of his body, he just wanted to lie down and not do anything. Except that the mind didn’t want to listen and wandered around, as it has done everytime he had a fever. It took him back to that sultry afternoon many year ago, he was sweating it out in the parade ground as the young NCC cadet wanting to be part of the hallowed RD parade. That’s when he saw her alighting from the van that brought the women cadets from another college, she was dressed in a traditional Tamilian outfit ( half saree) and it looked as if she absorbed the entire sunlight of the day. She radiated energy, happiness and appeared to be a true bundle of joy  ( she was slightly on the healthier side).

“I want to marry her” was the first thing that came to his mind, he infact said it aloud, so much so, that his friend caught him saying that. It was a classical love at first sight, no more and no less. It didn’t matter that she was an orthodox Christian and he was a traditional iyyengar, it didn’t bother that she belonged to the upper middle class and he had to scourge for money to come of college. Nobody gave the love affair a chance, including him. That’s why he didn’t pursue, though his heart weighed heavy whenever she recited the classical song, tapping her tender fingers on her lap.

Through this love, he found the poet in him. He wrote lyrics so that it could be sung by her. Overnight he became a star in writing and reciting poetry, surprising his friend and shocking some. Well, did some say, true love prises out the art in us and it did in his case. His poetry gained ascendancy through her mellifluous voice. All this and more, and yet she didn’t know the volcanic emotion in him.

Many a weeks passed by, they talked about poetry, music, religion ( gaining from each other) and both became better together. She introduced him to many books, till then he hardly read his own text books meant for his course but now he was reading books on all possible topics. He was evolving as person and a gentleman.

It happened when none anticipated, as they were talking to each other like any other day, she grabbed his hand kissed it gently and told him, “ lets get married”. His head swirled, mouth went dry and mind blanked, that was the first and last time he had love fever. Everytime he had fever, he only thought about it, and for some reason he liked it when he had one. It had been nearly two decades since that happened, it still brought back happiness and air of magic.

Opening of the door, shut his nostalgic journey abruptly, his iyyengar wife came with some homemade concoction, he looked at her and realized despite being happy, contented and loved he still missed the magic and how he wished the fever lingered for a little more than it usually does. He gulped the concoction and prayed it didn’t work, strange is the reality of life. So, powerful is first love it can uplift any situation, it did it for him.

First date after marriage – Not with wife though ;)

Exhilaration is the word that best described my state of mind on the day of the date, I wore my best clothes, made sure I smelled right, synchronized my shoes, belt and the watch. I felt as if my age truncated by a couple of decades. The rendezvous was planned in a busy mall not far from my house, not an ideal place though but that’s what she had insisted. We walked in hand in hand, within minutes it became clear she was the cynosure of all eyes, heads turned towards us ( more precisely her), smiles lit up on most people lips and some watched with amusement. The contrast wouldn’t have been so stark.

She was mix of pink, fair and dusky all at once, I was dark, with receding hairline and a greyish stubble. I didn’t care, I felt like walking on the clouds looked at all possible things on sale and for the first time I ventured to buy but my date didn’t show much interest except for a corner coffee shop which had some eye-catching muffins and donuts. She picked her favorite pastry, and I sat down with a coffee, we chatted for almost an hour and if there were something called, sweet nothings this was it. My chest pumped up whenever somebody looked at her and almost always invariably smiled. We were once again attracting all eye balls.

Finally, I got a pair of clothes, and she insisted she get one of her sister with the same style. I obliged and loosened my purse strings liberally than ever before.  As my perfect hour or two was coming to an end, my date’s eyes suddenly lit up at the sight of boy her age as he was trying the skate shoes, my heart stopped for a moment. I know, there will be a time when she will find a person of her own age and might have a coffee at the same place. Strangely, instead of jealousy I felt abundant love.

That’s when my phone rang, it was my wife. As with all good husband, picked up with a trepidation, and she almost yelled, is she ok and did you give her the milk? My date, smiled at the voice on the phone and asked, is it mommy? And I said yes. She gave another heavenly laugh and we decided to leave once again inviting all the looks and my three-year-old had her first day out with her dad. 

I am planning to...and murder did happen

The conspiratorial tone, hushed manner and seriousness of intent made me wonder how someone could plan so much over a cup of coffee and that too so casually. So I asked, are you sure? You want to do this? Much to my anxiety, the answer was in the affirmative. I couldn’t believe the day that began so well, bright and sprightly could take such a dark turn. I swallowed my coffee and with it a lot more emotion blurted, “ So you have chosen the target err victim”, “not yet but I will zero in on sooner than later. All I wanted to know if it is the right thing now?”asked my friend. No screamed my gut but I gulped some more coffee to buy sometime, and after much hesitation I said, “it is supposed to be a product of sudden surge in emotion, and some chemical imbalance but never premeditated, it is done of course in spy movies but not in reality”. I wanted to add, if it gets messed up you might as well take a bullet but sense prevailed and so did my silence. I told my friend you should watch some movies and in all of it, it happens as, it always meant to be and I reeled some book names and quoted some example where it was always a divine intervention that did the final act. “Got no time for that man”, came the reply. So I just had to do what I was called for, I claimed the inevitable “go ahead and execute your plan”. The familiar smile spread across the face and said, “Yes, I will plan to fall in love”.

I knew the murder of romance did happen in the process of planning for love. RIP, Yash chopra, Maniratnam…your theories on love are consigned to the museum. Welcome millennial’s  , swipe left or right and love is a click away